"Like many poets I’m part blackbird and part red squirrel and my brain chatters, shrieks, and whistles."
– Jim Harrison (Day Twenty-One – 28 Days of Unreason)
Quiet sensing wind
.22 Longs for season –
Waiting for the fall
The Quantumverse
"Like many poets I’m part blackbird and part red squirrel and my brain chatters, shrieks, and whistles."
– Jim Harrison (Day Twenty-One – 28 Days of Unreason)
Quiet sensing wind
.22 Longs for season –
Waiting for the fall
“Quiet sensing wind” is wonderful.
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Finally, a haiku my cousin in northern Wisconsin would like! If it only had deer in it….
Truly a deceptive haiku — quiet sensing wind = getting windage.
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Yes! Yes! But maybe the squirrels smell the hunter too? Was waiting for you to see this one.
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If you’re after squirrels with a .22, you better be using longs or magnums, or you’ll just be hearing laughing chatter as he scampers off. True about the squirrels smelling the hunter. The more alcohol he’s consumed….
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Hahaha. Yes, and that was the point of the “. 22 Long”…
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My cousin bow hunts. That includes black bear. Insanity runs in his branch of the stream. I buy grass fed and organic at the store. My weapons are my words.
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Thanks for putting up with my anti-haiku Haiku!
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Are you anti-haiku? You do them well. Just think what you could accomplish if you were pro-haiku!
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I’m totally pro-haiku!! I’m just experimenting with pushing the form.
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And Basho would approve. That’s George Basho… lives in Sacramento, I think.
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Hahaha!
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I’m assuming that most readers are not expecting bullets in their Haiku, and would not approve. So just hoping it was interesting enough that a few of you would give it a chance.
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Aha! So if a true Haiku is supposed to be connected to a season, this is connected to hunting season? 🙂 There is a great deal of double meaning tied up in these few words and I understand the desire sometimes to shoot those chattering voices, I mean, can I get some sleep around here, or what? Nope – grab the pen and write it down. Irascible indeed.
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Hahaha! Thanks! Yes, I felt like I was still true to the idea of Haiku. And we don’t know what happened, if this is just longing for peace and a fantasy. I’ve been reading a lot about Basho and his damn frog, and how radical it was for him to say that. I want radical Haiku. Say something surprising, even if it kills a few squirrels.
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At this point, don’t we imagine that Basho is sick of all this rehashing of Basho?
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I write brilliant non basho haiku and sarcasm.
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Absolutely!
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Over wine tonight the discussion went like this, “What makes for radical haiku?”
He counts syllables on one hand then says “The bitch be trippin’…?”
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Ahahaha! Yes! Yes!
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I feel so… timid…
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Timid?
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For under-performing “radical” compared to that!
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You don’t want to know where line two went – something about the child not being his…
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I think I might have even topped bullets for tomorrow!
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What I really like about both of these (this and Quiet sensing wind…) is that you stay in the zone (syllables, seasons, pause and punch closing line)… and then you blow it right out of the water. You take the haiku straight into the wilderness of the creative mind while respecting/including what is expected or assumed regarding “nature”. This one is particularly amazing for suspending the reader between two worlds or interpretations. For me it goes somewhat beyond just double meanings. Love it. Looking forward to reading more.
I just finished reading “The Art of Haiku, Its History Through Poems and Paintings”. The form is and has always been challenged by the masters. Very good book (and for me surprisingly easy read). As mentioned earlier, I really appreciate that you’ve managed to stick to the essence and then taken off.
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So I’ve read a bit about Basho, and how he was dedicated to smashing the old, rigid paradigm. Also that he was hilarious, and they would sit around drinking and writing renga. When I write Haiku, I think, “What Would Basho Do?” (WWBD, lol) I imagine he wouldn’t just grind off another “old pond and frog” – or if he did, it would brilliantly change all of our assumptions. Of course, that means having to for sure get all the details right, like you said – seasons, season words, nature, syllables etc., but then find some way to get the ball way out in left field, LOL! I hope I’ve got Basho laughing somewhere.
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Apparently Basho and the gang were quite influenced by the early Chinese poets… I believe jars of wine, and “just enough” played into both their enlightened states and poetry writing as they wandered around the mountains and rivers.
WWBD sounds like a good strategy! I trust the old fellow is laughing. In one of my poems somewhere, I see Li Po peaking through the branches smiling. I believe my son and I may be drinking beer by a fire.
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Fantastic.
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