It’s never about birds in poetry;
it is about our inadequate,
marrow-filled bones that
weigh us down
reminding us of the immediacy
of the dust.
It’s never about stars in poetry;
It is about drinking from the night
As from the floodwaters of Noah –
Watching the Ark pull from shore
Without you. At least you
Will not die of thirst,
Those receding lights
Your final comfort.
From Jilly’s November “Casting Bricks”
Jilly in bold, my abomination follows.
Gasp! This feels like having the air sucked from my lungs – drinking from the night, drowning in the flood of the ages, the stars our only comfort in the vast flood. The stars in poetry – our excommunication. I’m left with questions (always a good thing!): the stars are our reminder that we are separated from the promise? Our comfort is to drink from the darkness in our separation from God? From knowledge of the mystery? Astounding writing.
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I had no choice. Honor was in the line, LOL!
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Clearly there remain YASPs to be written…
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LOLOLOL! Yes!
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Yes. Yes. Yes. This is so good! I like that your poem and mine expressed similar feeling/frustration but with completely different words and images. And that dual meaning of “those receding lights.” Awesome!
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Thanks so much!! Once Jilly threw down on this, all my darkest instincts kicked in. LOL!
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It was a great prompt- Who could resist?
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Agreed, it set up so much opportunity.
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Oh, and the Greek title…a dedication to evil?
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In the Greek it was a good thing, it only became excommunication after time.
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I followed it in Greek from a dedication to a dedication to evil – a step between the good thing and the Latin. That’s why I asked
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OK, yes, exactly then.
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I like it better without the extra step.
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Understood. I assume nobody is going to look it up.
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Almost…
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Love the Greek. (Seminarian?) “At least you / Will not die of thirst, / Those receding lights / Your final comfort.” Nosaint is right… but not just a double meaning. Those receding lights — the stars or the ark? — Your final comfort — the comfort of a last look at the stars, or the last look at the ark as it heads for the horizon (“thank god they’re finally gone!”). All very well done.
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No, just a Geek! Thanks, tried to let all that sort of hang there without drowning, LOL!
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Too funny! Just posted my try at Jilly’s challenge. Why don’t you take on one of my challenges? Just for grins!
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Absolutely! On it!
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Read the poem, read the comments, looked things up – interesting about anathema – but remain perplexed about the ‘you’ (You?) who wouldn’t die of thirst and the receding lights (must be the ark) being the only comfort? It makes me ache. It’s all Jilly’s fault!
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Thanks! Good questions! I’m not sure either, but I *think* “you” is the reader, who has become aware of his/her state of excommunication. Why that is so is left to you. The lights are the stars and the lights of the boat and maybe the light of God.
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… also … to drink from the night – it’s not so bad. The night has gifts the blazing day could never give.
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For certain! I know what I wrote was horribly bleak, it is just that Jilly wound me up to write an antithetical “stars and rainbows and kittens” ending to her poem. Hopelessness ‘R Us!
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We’re certainly good at it!
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Yep! LOL!
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