The caller said your father had died. We were sitting in a booth at the Greek diner. Who better than Greeks to know Tragedy? Our waiter is from Guatemala. Maybe who better than Guatemalans to know tragedy. The restaurant is empty. Who better than empty to know loss. His wife will burn him. She can send the box if anyone wants it. If anyone wanted forgiveness, I would tell you a burnt heart closes like a door as the last customer leaves for the night. We pay the check and leave a tip in the jar. After we are gone the waiter will spread our coins like ashes.
First published Sept 2020 in the I-70 Review
Very vivid with an excellent end.
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Thank you!
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“A burnt heart closes like a door…” That it does. Such a good poem. I love those closing lines!
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Thank you!
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This bit from your archives fits the challenge photo SO well!
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Digging deeper into the I-70 Review I read …. ‘the journal holds constant to work that is surprising and fresh, believing original voice is essential in poetry and fiction’ ~~~ which describes your work / talent to a “T” …….
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Thank you so much!
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This is very deftly done, from the first stanza to the last, qbit. I love this.
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Hey, thanks so much. Appreciated.
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I can so understand why you went to the archives with this Qbit! Perfect for the image and this is one deliciously amazing poem!! The ending is so well done! Brilliant!
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Your poem reaches out. So potent:
“Who better than empty
to know loss.”
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Thank you!
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You’re welcome.
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What an awesome poem! The way you linked the stanzas to highlight the different stages is really amazing. Yes, who knows better than the Greeks about tragedy!
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Thank you!
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“Ashes in a box…” We have ashes of two dogs and a cat in our house. We’ve also taken ashes of a lady good friend from her funeral home in Corpus Christi (TX) to Houston for burial.
None we ever burned (will ashes burn??), in your poem that gives a good character insight.
Good reading, thank you.
..
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Yeah – that ending was quite unexpected, qbit – well done, Sir!
Sincerely,
David
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Luv your weave of images, qbit.
Bravo
Much💜love
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Thanks!!
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So skilfully written – the closing image is perfect.
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It reads almost like a dance, even the last part:
“After we are gone
the waiter will spread our coins
like ashes.”
Perfect!
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This is fantastic. Such a perfect, vivid capture of that moment.
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Thank you!
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“a burnt heart
closes like a door”
Intense imagery in this excellent poem, q!
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Thanks!!!
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Holy cow. This one is INCREDIBLE. That last line.
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Ah, glad you saw this. Hey, if you are poking around, most of it is skippable, but you might like https://qbit.blog/2022/02/24/lament-of-a-wool-spinners-husband/
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it’s the forgiveness verses that gobsmacked me most, but also all of it ~
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Ah, thank you. I’m glad those lines connected.
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