| Tenor: | Dogman |
| Soprano: | Seagulls, various |
| Basso Profundo: | The Seal |
| Chorus: | Beach bums |
| The Band: | Banjofish, Harmonicafish, Washboardfish, Jugfish |
| Act 1, Scene 1: | Dogman, walking the beach. |
| He contemplates, life, death, and hotdogs. |
| Dogman: | This hotdog sings the mustard, sings the relish, relish the sky, relish the beach, my tongue in a pickle all day la la. |
| Beach Bums: | Yes! Yes! Sing with relish! |
| Dogman: | Sing with abandon! But abandon means bereft. I sing and am alone forever, my lungs lost in a forest of breath. |
| Beach Bums: | No! No! He must not be lost! |
| Dogman: | Like Popeye I smoke the spinach of storms. I flex my blimps. |
| The Seal: | (Burps). |
| Dogman: | A great fishyness fills the air… |
| Seagull: | Yessiree yamma yamma fishfishfish. |
| The Seal: | God said let there be squid, and there was squid. |
| Seagull: | Yamma yamma squidsquidsquid. |
| Dogman: | Clams are an open book of wagging tongues, shoal-mamas. I attend death at their pearly gates. |
| (Clam harmonica plays…) | |
| Dogman: | I see the angry red kimono of sky open, naked sun flashing the sea. |
| Beach Bums: | What do you see, oh what do you see? |
| Dogman: | I see ramshackle clamshackle clamtastic fantastic hallelujah. |
| The Sea Hag tosses my fate like dice eyes. | |
| Snakes in the house of Fate, spots scratched out, rolling blind. | |
| Seagull: | Yamma yamma |
| Dogman: | The sky’s white lei’s of lightning, welcome to stormwash. |
| Flowers of heathen dance shock my neck. | |
| My Popeye’s sailor pants are salted and scrimmed and scrummed. | |
| Beach Bums: | “O Fortuna velut luna statu variabilis, semper crescis aut decrescis”* |
| Dogman: | Oh monsterous fate! Whirling wheel, malevolent and vain. |
| (Clam harmonica, repeat) | |
| Dogman: | Is there no shelter from this sky? Is there no hotdog for those shriven of sin? |
| Seagull: | Yamma hotdoghotdog. Absolution and Cheez-its! |
| Dogman: | Fortune, speak plainly now. I beseech you! |
| (Thunder rolls in the distance) | |
| Dogman: | Lo! I have had a vision! I abandon this hotdog to the gulls. I craven crave crave but a Mermaid taco! This shall fulfill me at last. To feast on a Chimera! |
| Seagulls: (unison) | Skree! Skree! |
| Act 1, Scene 2 | A simple cottage near the shore. |
| A mermaid hangs wash on the line | |
| She, struggles to remain upright… |
*"O Fortune, like the moon you are changeable, ever waxing ever waning" -- Carmina Burana
qbit 
Let me tell you about Beachy Dogman and the Big Beat! He is stoned immaculate.
I love this extremely imaginative format, and identify terrifyingly closely with the seagulls yamma yamma ding dong, or King Don, or wing dings.
And O Fortuna! When I first heard it, it was an amazing and powerful piece of choral music, but after hearing it played at numerous hockey games, now i can’t hear it without expecting a face-off. If I ever own a hockey team, I will ditch “Rock and Roll Part II” and “Shout’ and replace them with this:
Soon, all sportsing will be forgotten as everyone carries the singer out of the arena on their shoulders and takes him to the beach for some moonlight yamma yamma. Relish!
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Hahahahaha! That is hilarious. I love the weird pop-Verdi.
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This is one wild ride story set to a chorus like a musical Qbit! I love it and shall relish the moment!!
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Hahaha, thanks! You said a music prompt!
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Very clever. Enjoyed your creativity spell
Much 💖love
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This is fantastic. You are so funny! Especially clever are these:
“Clams are an open book”
“A mermaid hangs wash on the line
She, struggles to remain upright”
The kimono sky and flasher sun would make an excellent haiku.
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Ahahaha! Thank you so much!
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nice! i think this is the best poem you’ve written in this form so far, and i’m really liking the format. there is only one tiny little detail i might change, i would change the beach bums to surfer bros, i would love to hear surfer bros singing in latin with southern california stoner accents:
“dude like O Fortuna, velut luna statu variabilis yo, and semper crescis aut decrescis… so righteous man”
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Bwahaha!!!
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“I see ramshackle clamshackle clamtastic fantastic hallelujah.”
Love the word play on this line. The whole thing is clever and cool.
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Thank you!!
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A lot of great lines, Randall. I’ll choose this as the best, though:
“Sing with abandon! But abandon means bereft. I sing and am alone forever, my lungs lost in a forest of breath.”
A true musical show piece — part Verdi, part Gilbert and Sullivan, part “Kill the Wabbit!”
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Ahahaha! Yes indeed. I like that formulation, especially the wabbit!
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~~~ as a second alto I can tell you I would deliver these lines quite well … ” Is there no hotdog for those shriven of sin? He contemplates, life, death, and hotdogs” Cheers! This is awesome, Randall (a treat using your first name.)
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Yes, that is a treat for me too!
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What an entertaining extravaganza of silly theater. My favorite line:
“Like Popeye I smoke the spinach of storms.” So wonderful!
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Thanks!
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You’re welcome!
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I wanna see this one performed on stage with a full cast and costumes. This is priceless
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That would be great, lol!
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Love it from title to every line. It should be a play. It’s beach and beat, sea gull pester and pure entertainment.
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Thanks!!
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This is insane and joyful and surreal and I like it! I love Dogman’s lines the most, especially this one:
“I see the angry red kimono of sky open, naked sun flashing the sea.”
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This is so amazing and clever, I cannot comment on just one line. And oh, the title!
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