Orion looks tipsy up there in the sky – too much Milky Way nog. Oh no! About to ralph his galaxies into the bottomless punch bowl night. Such a bad example for the kids.
Earlier you said I made a sound like goat cheese, sort of creamy bleating – my excitable holiday cheer a canapé with fig jolly.
This morning, ravens burst the outdoor Christmas ornaments, hungry for grubs and gnomes – glass balls popping like kids playing with bubble-pack.
That reindeer pajama accident is nobody’s business.
The three wise men may have been grifters, fingering baby Jesus’s diapers for diamonds.
Also in the manger, the camel, always a comic – “Guess what? It’s hump day! Get it?” Mary moans in her labor.
The three wise men hurry off looking for wonton soup and egg rolls. Chinese restaurants the only thing open on Christmas. Their waitress unhappy with her tip in myrrh – “What the f* am I supposed to do with this??”
My first Christmas in London I thought “Boxing day” was National Prize Fighting day. Not quite the sentiment of the season, but what the hell. Let it “pow!”
We pulled the Old Year into the living room for a intervention. Time for rehab buddy.
New Year’s Eve, I jam time into reverse as it races to midnight – the piston hours buckle, minutes grind in the transmission, seconds lock and burn the clutch. The engine wails like a newborn taking it’s first breath.
For Shay’s Word Garden
qbit 
Qbit, this is utterly wonderful! I love these bits especially:
“That reindeer pajama accident is nobody’s business.” 😂
“Also in the manger, the camel, always a comic – “Guess what? It’s hump day! Get it?” Mary moans in her labor.” – Poor Mary! 😂
“The three wise men hurry off looking for wonton soup and egg rolls. Chinese restaurants the only thing open on Christmas. Their waitress unhappy with her tip in myrrh – “What the f* am I supposed to do with this??” “
“The engine wails like a newborn taking it’s first breath.”
Brilliant stuff!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much! Hopefully it isn’t too much for folks, a little on the edge.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s perfectly on the nose of edge, not too much and not too little.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Not too reverent about the birth of Christ, I take it.
I love the ending with the buckling engine and the newborn.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hey, yeah. Reading that over now, maybe farther over the line than I intended. Hopefully folks take it with the intended humor.
LikeLiked by 1 person
This is priceless! I love your take on the holiday. I like especially that the three wise men must have been grifters. Thanks for this!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lolol!
LikeLike
Profane guffaws from this reader intended! A right fragrant shingle of Yule cap and bells. I always thought Caspar was digging in Amahl’s box for chestnuts.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Ahahaha!
LikeLike
This is brilliant! I actually laughed out loud at the possible grifters, and the comic camel.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Lol. Thanks Sarah!
LikeLike
This is amazing. The imagination, the juxtaposition of all the vivid and wildly creative imagery, the humor. I love it!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Thank you so much!
LikeLike
sock! bam! pow!
LikeLiked by 1 person