Our swan meets Nikki Papandreou,
The Greek Olympic diver
Brandishing a cygnet ring
Bargaining with Poseidon’s wave
“Nikki” she laughed, “suburban demi-god.”
“Prove your flipcraft of the Argonauts.”
Oh, Siren, thought he, in the face of her derision
Fifty heroes shall stand and see
A white Medusa, her neck a downy serpent –
“For Lysistrata and the Amazons!”
“Apply the wrench, my lovely wench”
The Golden Fleece denied
Head over heels, they mirror the gods
Unbounded by the sea or heaven
A Promethean dive from dizzying heights
a mythological echo and splash
Their wild swan chase to raise Atlantis,
Oysters, smoked in their beds
Ocean crossroads deal carved in stone
Volcano ash scatters the sweetest atone
Conspirators: qbit, Jilly
qbit’s Renga Challenge – Swan Dive
For Jilly’s October Casting Bricks
“Brandishing a cygnet ring” Oh pun most fowl!
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Groan!!!
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Not like you ever pun!!! 🙂
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You are right, I do tend to puntificate!
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A politician or a prelate? (I always thought “prelate” sounded a bit like an oxymoron….)
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Sent me down the rabbit hole! From MW: “Middle English prelat, fromAnglo-French, from Medieval Latinpraelatus, literally, one receivingpreferment, from Latin (past participleof praeferre to prefer), from prae- + latus, past participle of ferre to carry— more at tolerate, bear.”
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Exactly! What?!? That’s not a rabbit hole; that’s one of the NORAD silos in Wyoming. If there’s a rabbit down there, it glows.
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Ahaha!
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I know rabbit holes.
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“Nikki,” she laughed, “you mere suburban demi-god.”
“Prove your flipcraft of the Argonauts.”
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Oh, Siren, thought he, in the face of her derision
Fifty heroes shall stand and see
(Italics: Oh, Siren / and the second line in its entirety.)
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Great!
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A white Medusa, her neck a downy serpent –
“For Lysistrata and the Amazons!”
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Ooo…
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“Apply the wrench, my lovely wench”
The Golden Fleece denied
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Apply the wrench!!
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Yes, well, our swan DID open that door with Lysistrata…
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Head over heels, they mirror the gods
Unbounded by the sea or heaven
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A Promethean dive from dizzying heights
a mythological echo and splash
(Shelley reference applauded!)
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A wild swan chase to raise Atlantis,
Then having a smoke In their seabed
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Cliche alert!
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Yes, but I thought that the seabeds gave it enough of a twist? Maybe “smoke drifting up from their seabed”? Let me know and I can rework.
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No worries – laughing here! Final couplet to follow
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I like this better!
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How about “Oysters, getting smoked in their beds
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More subtle – funnier.
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HAHA! Working with the smoke…
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How’s this?
Ocean crossroads deal carved in stone
Volcano ash scatters the sweetest atone
(went back to the bargain with Poseidon & pulled in the smoke; not to mention the stone reference)
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Done!! I really like the way the volcano blows up, and leaves us in antiquity. Almost like Pompeii. We started in the “present”, but like the Greek Gods, now long lost like Atlantis.
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By my count, there are no less than 15 allusions packed into this, including Robbins, Shelley, and various Greeks, both present and mythological. Fun stuff! Agreed – always do what those 4AM dreams tell you to do. 🙂
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Hahaha. You did a great job turning a show’s ear into a silk purse. It was a tough prompt. Looking back, I don’t think I made enough of the opportunities you created in your first stanza.
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What? Jason & the gang was brilliant – it opened up the flood gates. I like the craziness – stretches my abilities.
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Well, I guess not everything has to be as amazing as Rasta Bones, Playing Fetch With Knives, and abroad of Ashes. We have a high bar!! BTW, Madaket would like to try another four person Renga. I’ll come up with something, unless you have an idea.
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*Road of Ashes
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Yay! I have no ideas worth anything by 10PM. Go for it.
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Ok, ttfn.
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So, here’s an idea for the four person Renga that I wrote while administering the SAT in a math classroom today (strange vibe for me):
“A circle within
The well of infrequent tongues
Radius opens”
You can host or hand it off to one of us. Whichever…
Unless you have some other direction?
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Ooooh — you host it, your opening Haiku. Go with Renga “Classic”, 5-7-5 5-5?
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Sounds good! I’ll get it posted this evening & we’ll get the other miscreants to join in.
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https://jillys2016.wordpress.com/2017/10/11/renga-geometry-jillycharleymadaketqbit/
Charley has taken the first couplet.
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I leave you two alone for one day, and you produce…a work of pure genius! What a ride! 👏👏👏👏👏
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Thanks!!!
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My pleasure!
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Reblogged this on Frank J. Tassone and commented:
#Haiku Happenings #6: Qbit and Jilly produce this stunning and beautiful #renga!
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How did I miss this? Thank you, Frank!
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No worries, Jilly. It’s a big wordpress-verse! My pleasure!
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Genius! You two were definitely on the same wave length😊
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Thanks!!
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You’re welcome!
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Thanks, Vivian! That would be the wavelength of insanity, I think. 🙂
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Yep!!!
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The thought did cross my mind because truth be told- I was completely lost!!😂😂😂
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The thought did cross my mind because truth be told- I was completely lost!!😂😂😂
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Yeah, so were we. Don’t tell anyone that, ok?
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Nevertheless, we were thoroughly entertained😀
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Thoroughly entertained … and amazed!
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