Renga – Swan Dive (qbit/sarasouthwest)

Our swan meets Nikki Papandreou,
The Greek Olympic diver

Eye to eye and nose to beak
They keep their poise and watch each other

She waddles to the edge of grace
Submerged, he breasts for air

Wings cut through air,
Arms slice through water

How fierce the thrill
That twists as one?

How strong the force
That separates them?

Jackknifed time entangles
Their fall as flight through space

Becomes reunion of bone and skin and
Hand and feather, a merging and emerging

Yet such ecstasy, transgression,
Cannot queen the body long

This body’s reaching out for that
Still point, where rise turns into fall

The ancient moment, amphibian mind –
Zeno’s paradox suspended

A moment free of up, of down, all
Movement frozen in a blue eternity



Conspirators: qbit, sarasouthwest
qbit’s Renga Challenge – Swan Dive
For Jilly’s October Casting Bricks

56 thoughts on “Renga – Swan Dive (qbit/sarasouthwest)

        1. I’m at work, so will be a bit. OK, we’re through the first section, and we have our swan and our diver, engaged with each other and propelled into the world in some parallel way. Do they need each other? Are they two sides of the same coin? What can they learn from each other? We shall see, LOL!


    1. Oooh, very good. We have some kind of deep push pull. Possibly at the deepest level of physics. The strong and weak nuclear force. What holds us together but keeps us from collapsing.


    1. OK!!!! Wow, we have something pretty interesting going on here. Somehow we have to complete the dive! We have bird/man merging and emerging in/out of some twisting entanglement. Sure. The rest is obvious, right? LOL!


        1. Motivation — I have no idea, LOL! Will give that some thought. As originally set up, we’d have four couplets left — two for me and two for you, with you ending it all with a splash (or without? A clean dive? A splish?) But up to you. Can we answer to the reader why they should care about the fate of our swanperson in eight lines?


    1. Yes, I was trying much of that too, but I couldn’t make it flow or seem natural. How about this?

      Yet such ecstasy, transgression,
      cannot queen the body long


    1. It’s perfect! And completely seamless! I love the progression and way it just gets closer and closer to that last line. Funnily, my favorite line is eye to eye and nose to beak. It creates such personality and tension. Thank you for participating! Throw out a line and we can do it again!


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