Renga – We Were Wanton (qbit/Jilly)

“Human teeth contain a kind of poison, for they dim the brightness of a mirror when bared in front of it and also kill the fledglings of pigeons.” – Pliny The Elder, “Natural History” 79 CE

 

So feckless to smile at birds along the river,
Of course we knew that we were wanton

Splitting innocence with inured jaws,
Hawking the feathers caught in our teeth.

Unable to face our hunger, plunder,
Our eyes dim our necessity,

Denying our faces, averting our senses,
We leap into the decadent watercourse

White and fanged, the rapids of history
Tears us to ruins

Rise, we sink to rise again;
Birds chatter at our decay.

The currents of time wash out our bones
The sun pristine over the primal estuary

Stripped of all but naked truth
Ancient words take flight

Magnificat, the mother song of creatures,
St. Francis delirious with canticle

Counterpoint, drifting up and downstream,
Reflecting sinners, spawning saints

 

 

 
Conspirators: qbit, Jilly
qbit’s Renga Challenge – We Were Wanton
For Jilly’s November Casting Bricks

49 thoughts on “Renga – We Were Wanton (qbit/Jilly)

        1. No! No! It is perfect! I think this could be really good, I don’t want to wreck it by whipping things around willy nilly. (Jilly?). LOL. Here’s what I came up with, let me know if it has enough room.

          “Unable to face our hunger, plunder,
          Our eyes dim the truth, unmirror our visage”

          Liked by 1 person

  1. I’m not married to this couplet – editing or complete trashing is in the full realm of possibilty, but I wanted to bring the river back into play:

    ‘Denying our faces, averting our senses,
    We leapt into the decadent watercourse’

    Like

  2. Stumpted-ish. I want the decadent water too, but then what? We’ve got this great setup – wanton loss of innocence, dead birds, aversion to truth. We’ve got the entire Pliny vector.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Apologies, I might not get lines out tonight. But partly that was due to getting your lines while actually crossing the Hudson on a ferry! The river needs its due. It must not be shortchanged, lol! I spend a lot of time thinking about that river, so went into a thoughtful place.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Left school with your last (amazing) couplet in my head. Went screaming down the highway with an old SmashMouth song on the radio – Walking on the Sun. By the time Prince – Dove’s Cry came on, I had this. The right soundtrack is everything! (Sun, birds – yeah, I got this) LOL!

    “Stripped of all but our naked truth
    Ancient words—cleansed– take flight”

    Now we must close this baby in style. (Yikes!)

    Like

    1. “Magnificat, the mother song of creatures,
      St. Francis delirious with canticle, drifting”

      Not sure about the sudden appearance of St. Francis, but like, well, St. Francis!!! Can go another direction if too jarring.

      Posting this on the blog in parallel.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s