even as my eyes are scuffed
with scratch and sniff corneas
from staring so at the atlas
of longing and latitude
that used lottery ticket we share
you complained I was not optimistic
but here I am unscrewing Oreos
to reveal the map of El Dorado
a doomed conquistador of fluff
yet without disappointment
the world is not your oyster
maybe its a Fabergé Egg McMuffin
bejeweled off the dollar menu
ketchup ruby glory on a gilded side
of hash browns
let's take yet another shot, sight in
our telescope's muzzle bore and barrel
fire a cannonade of stars
and planetary grapeshot
let the cracks fall where they may
The Sunday Muse
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Now I want an egg McMuffin!! I love the brilliant irony in this Qbit! Wonderful and clever writing!!
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Lol! Yes, me too. Thank you!!
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Loved that egg McMuffin metaphor! A clever write that moves along smoothly!
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The Faberge Egg McMuffin is brilliant. I love the cannonade of stars and planetary grapeshot!
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Thank you!!
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I enjoyed the modern poetic take, the egg Mcmuffins and oreos of life. staring at the atlas of longing. I think I’ve stared too long at times.
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Scuffed eyes, OW!
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The worst!
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When you got down to “ketchup ruby glory on a gilded side of hash browns” I was thinking a morning outing to McDonald’s. Maybe you could squeeze an order of pancakes to share out of that ticket also..
..
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Ahahaha! Will do.
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I can see that ketchup in the sun. It reminds me of the Huntsville McDondald’s, which used to have a display of Lalique glassware that always seemed out of place right next to the registers. It was like the McDonald’s had accidentally absorbed a tiny antique shop and wasn’t through digesting it.
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That is so cool! How wonderfully anomalous.
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Between scratch and sniff corneas and the world as a possible Fabergé Egg McMuffin… I’m delighted to be confused about which one wins as my favourite metaphor of the day. Bravo!
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Ahahaha! Thanks so much.
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🙂
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A wry and bantering tone enhances the arch separation of reason from reality and casts that surreal and distorting light on the mundane–very fitting for the times we’re in. That first stanza is absolutely knock-out, and segues perfectly into the plaintive “..you complained I was not optimistic/but here I am unscrewing Oreos/to reveal the map of El Dorado..” I love the images, so bright and original and scathing, and the way the whole thing fits together with the perfect emphasis and economy of words that marks a good poem. I also love the way this picture took you off-road to Faberge McMuffins and a shot into the random universe to splinter out some..treasure? reality? answers? or perhaps just a little dash of the supreme irony of asking both too much and too little from the universe . Perfect ambiguity to make the reader think, and very good writing. Loved it.
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If I ever get a book out, I want you to write the jacket notes. Thanks so much,
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You are always so amazingly clever!
longing and latitude
that used lottery ticket we share
And of course, that incredible third stanza!
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Thank you!!
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Brilliant. I think your poetry is out of this world .. above the stratosphere maybe the troposphere or even the mesosphere.
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Oh my gosh. Thank you so much.
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This was highly enjoyable. The Fabergé Egg McMuffin is my favorite image.
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Lol! I’m so glad.
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